Tag Archives: relationships

Guest Blog Post: Rules of Dating By Relationship Expert Jenny Jen

24 Nov

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Happy Hump Day fellow Healthy Chicks! Today I am proud to entertain you with a guest post from one of my favorite readers/fellow blogger Jenny Jen. She is one Blonde Bronzed Twenty Something who knows the ins and outs of relationships, dating and men (something I am totally clueless about). Alas, let me give the floor (er, blog) over to her! Jen, you may take it from here…

Healthy as we might be with other aspects in our life, we’re not so much with men.  We are told to go for the good guy, yet fall for the bad.  We are meant to walk away from a relationship without looking back, not wanting the ass hole even more.  We are supposed to take the oh-so-obvious hints that he’s just not that into us, but instead we focus on the signs that show us he is.  We my friends are twentysomething women who – although healthy and in control in other areas of our life – lack the same nutrients and wholesome diet in our dating life.

Well consider me your relationship trainer.  I’m going to give you the core tips to energize your love life.  So are we ready girls?  Time to swap those Nike runner’s for a pair of Manolo thigh-high boots and start walking:

1)     Keep a ‘dating diary’:  The same way you would record the calories and eating items you intake to notice patterns and how each food makes you feel after consumption, do the same with men.  We often forget the bad and overwrite it with rosy stories that are far from accurate.  Keep this journal to understand your patterns, in hopes to prevent making the same mistakes again.

2)     Everything in moderation:  We are always told that too much of something is never a good thing.  If he uses excuses such as work, studying, moving, etc., realize that someone who wants to see you will fit you into his schedule, no matter what.  I’ve dated people in high demand jobs such (think doctors and hockey players), yet they still managed to make time for me.  Got it?  Alternately, be aware of spending too much time with the man of your affection.   If you’re together 24/7, you likely don’t have room for other aspects of your life and wellbeing since he has become it.  Neither of the two choices are a healthy alternative.  Instead, indulge in him but make sure to make time for yourself and your friends, because at the end of the day, if Casa Nova and you break it off, you and your friends are the only one who can pick up the pieces. 

3)     Work it:  You’re not going to burn calories, release endorphins and start noticing changes on your waistline unless you start working out.  Wish as we might, sitting at home playing on our Macbooks won’t get us into shape.  Same with dating.  Though we can try to peruse the net for potential suitors, it’s going out, meeting people and putting ourselves in a social environment that will get us to reach our goal.  So put on a hot little number, head out and make it happen.

4)     Avoid Toxins:  You wouldn’t dare ruin your diet with something that was unhealthy or distructive to it, so why would you do that you with your men?  You know that hung over feeling you experience the morning (and day, and evening) after drinking?  Those are the effects of toxins in your body.  Toxic relationships are destructive to your well being.  Not only do they halt motivation and make you less productive, but they also deter others from you (no one wants to get toxins).  And deny as you will that the boy is toxic, listen to those around you who refer to him (and who you become with him) as such.  No one should be bringing your fabulous, foxy-self down.  A partner is meant to bring out the best in you, not worst.

We wouldn’t settle for a bad gym, we wouldn’t feel good from a half-assed work out, and we certainly wouldn’t feel clear headed and airy if we ate a meal full of junk.  If you put in the same thought and awareness as you do with your health, I can assure you you will find that grade A relationship you so desire. 

-Jenny Jen

Thanks for such a wonderful, fun post Jen! You may contact Jen on Twitter @BlondeBronzed, read her hilarious, informative relationship blog here and email her at blondebronzedtwentysomething@hotmail.com. 

Single Chick in the City: An Honest Confession/Rant

17 Sep

Warning: I apologize ahead of time if I go on some kind of rant 

While I may be a healthy chick and am 99% of the time a happy chick, I am also…dun dun dun…a single chick. Now many of my in-a-relationship friends root me on, and tell me that “being single is fun.” “You are so young.” “The right guy will come along some day.” Well, 23 years have gone by and he still hasn’t. OK OK, I understand that yes, I am young and yes, I probably will meet “that guy” some day and everything will all work out. But it doesn’t make that in-between, waiting around, what’s going to happen phase any easier. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that as much as I’m trying to stay positive about being a single chick, sometimes it gets to me, and this week it’s gotten to me a lot more than usual. I try to be all strong. “I’m OK by myself.” “I don’t need a guy.” And that’s true. I know I don’t neeeeed one, but it doesn’t mean that every once in a while the thought can’t pop into my mind that’d be nice to have one. 

Many of my relationship friends also like to tell me, “When you stop looking it’ll come.” Honestly, I’ve heard that since 7th grade. I’m not looking, am I? It’s not as though I go crawling around town checking out men like an aisle in Forever 21. Cute. Not Cute. Yep, he’ll be a keeper. No, I don’t do that. Sometime’s at coffee shops I’ll smile at the cute guy across the table, and at bars I look around to see what’s out there and go up to the occasional guy to chat, but that’s just because I’m a social gal and I love meeting new people. I wouldn’t call that looking or hunting them out by any means. 

Anyway, this past year I tried to let my singledom not get to me as much. After all, I moved into a new city (the lovely city of Boston) and realized it was a time to focus solely on me. And that I did. I got myself a job (or three), started cooking anything and everything (creating many of my own unique recipes) finally learned to manage my budget, made some amazing friends, learned the importance of strength training for women and began lifting weights, explored the city’s adorable coffee shops, bookstores and hidden gems, went to New Zealand with my family, went brunette, quit my job (or two), learned to embrace my body, began running (and love it) and am finally focused on my writing career. Those were all things for me I’d say. Not for you, not for my family and definitely not for men. 

So I guess the whole “why am I still single” thing is especially getting to me now, because I AM happy, I HAVE focused on “me” and I DON’T think about it all the time. I guess what I’m trying to say is I feel it’s finally time I get a little taste of what a relationship is like. College I understand; No, college I was not ready for one. I barely had my act together, I was not happy with my weight or my body or my appearance and I wasn’t focusing on “me.” However, now it’s all different. 

I guess in a way I am proud of myself. I finally got to that place I’ve been trying to get for years, a place where I am happy with what I am doing, content with my body, at a weight I feel comfortable with and at an overall “happy place.” So for now, I suppose I will concentrate on all that I’ve overcome in the past couple of years, however once in a while it’s hard not to let the single-bug get to me. Then again, if that’s the biggest of my worries, I’ve come a long way and am pretty damn lucky.  

Single gals: Do you ever let being single get to you? What do you do to push out that negative noise and just “be”? 

The Healthy, No Fuss Guide to a First Date

18 Aug

So, I’m going on a date tonight and I have to say I’m quite excited. Hey, dates are fun. While some of my friends (whose names I won’t mention) get nervous, sweaty and, well, gassy, before a first date (HA), I think about other things. “What do I eat? What will I wear? What do I order? How much do I drink? I’m a “light weight” these days…what if I get too drunk? Will I look OK? He’s older then me…what will he think of me?” Seriously, that’s what is going through my mind right now and it’s not even 9 a.m. OK, I’m exaggerating a tad, but really these are things you need to think about ladies. Alas, here is my quick-fix Healthy Chicks guide to a first date. Hope you enjoy!

What to eat the day of the big date:
Yes, what you eat the day of a date really does affect the way you look and feel that evening. Let’s just put it this way: today is definitely not the day to try out that sugary coffee you’ve been eying, or order the burger at lunch. No, no, no. Today you must be cautious so you feel like a complete babe later on. This means cut back on sugar, sugar substitutes, refined starchy carbs, extra salt, sodas or other fizzy drinks, hefty meals, and even sugar-free gum. These are all things that make you feel BLOATED and no one wants to feel bloated right before a night out in the city. I packed my bag for work accordingly so that I can feel extra-good tonight.

Breakfast=2 pieces Ezekiel toast with 1 TB smart balance butter; 1 egg mixed with 1 egg white, cup of black coffee (I wanted my breakfast to be filling, so I went with 2 pieces of sprouted grain toast served with an egg+ egg white for ultimate protein, then obviously coffee for my caffeine fix)

Snack=ANOTHER iced coffee+ banana (The first coffee didn’t quite do it for me so I picked another one up at Dunkin’ on my way to work for an extra kick (iced with a little skim, no sugar)…and gotta love fresh fruit in the morning, but this would be even better topped with all natural peanut butter or almond butter!)

Lunch=Lemon Zest Luna bar with Clementine (I chose a light lunch today because I know I’ll be drinking and probably eating appetizers later, plus the Luna bar is great for protein. Not to mention, it’s packed with calcium, folic acid, vitamin D, and iron, all super good nutrients for women.)

Afternoon snack=large bowl of pineapple topped with Greek yogurt and cinnamon (for a sweet ‘n’ fresh afternoon pick-me-up)

Dinner*=large salad with fresh spinach, feta cheese and lots of fresh veggies drizzled in olive oil and lemon (skipping the salt this time in my salad so I can feel bloat-free) *If you are going out to dinner, order what you want and eat until you’re full. If you loooove salads and grilled chicken, get one. If you’re a steak girl, go for it baby! Just take into account how it’s going to make your body feel later on, and if you’re having lots of cocktails cut down on the high-cal dinner options. For me, I usually get a fresh salad, grilled chicken or a seafood entree and skip the fried or carby entrees because they upset my stomach due to my gluten intolerance. So, eat what you know your body can handle…do your body good.

How to Make Sure You Have Enough Time:

If you’re like me, I like to get in a kick-butt sweaty workout session the day of a date. It not only makes me feel fabulous, but it also works wonders on your confidence. Since I knew I wouldn’t have time nor want to exercise after work, I decided to get it over with in the morning. Yes, I woke up at 6 a.m. and forced my butt to the gym. While getting out of bed was a little bit of a struggle, I couldn’t have felt better once I was there. I went for a quick yet sweaty workout since I knew I only had 45 minutes, an hour at most. I started with 25 minutes of intervals on the elliptical, alternating 30 second full-out sprints with a minute of steady paced jogging. Once I was dripping in sweat, I knew I did something right. After all, that’s the goal. After I spend the next 20 minutes or so doing weighted lunges and squats, mixed with shoulder exercises (overhead press, shoulder presses, etc). I then jogged home to end my workout the right way!

Also, if you have time in the morning, pick out your outfit ahead of time. Yes, I know it sounds a little Elementary school-ish, but no one likes to be running around last minute like a chicken with their head cut off. I mentally decided what I’m going to wear tonight so it’s in my mind. That way, when I get home from work, I can eat dinner and get ready without all the last minute hustle bustle.

What to wear:

It’s always good to be aware of what kind of place you are going to before your date. Luckily this time I know exactly where I’m going, so I’m going to dress accordingly. The place is nice and on the waterfront, so I’m planning on wearing a bright-colored dress with nice flip-flops. Classy yet not over the top (i.e. no high heels). However, sometimes you have to make a judgment call when you’re not exactly sure where the date will be held. I always say go classy over tight and skanky and wear something YOU’LL feel comfortable in. That’s the most important thing for me.

One time, I was completely UNDERDRESSED on a date and couldn’t have felt more awkward. I was under the impression that we were doing something low-key and chill (i.e. going out for ice cream) so when the guy I was going out with told me to meet him at Eastern Standard last minute and I rolled up in jeans and a tee, I couldn’t feel more of an outsider. He was in a collared button down and nice pants, women were dressed to the nines in jewelry and cocktail dresses, there were white tablecloths and candles on the table, and there I was in my girl-next-door t-shirt. YIKES. Never again…never again. I guess I learned my lesson to always dress a little bit above average at least.

What to Drink:

Typically, I go for a glass (or two) of red wine or a vodka seltzer with a splash of pineapple or cranberry juice. These are great choices, especially during a hot summer night by the waterfront☺ However, use your best judgment and drink what you want…just know your limits…don’t want to get sloppy!

When I want something more indulgent, I usually go for a margarita on the rocks or a vodka pineapple…mmm!

To Kiss or Not to Kiss…
Well, this one’s up to you!

Well, that’s all for now. Enjoy your date!

XoXo,

The Healthy Chick

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