Single Chick in the City: An Honest Confession/Rant

17 Sep

Warning: I apologize ahead of time if I go on some kind of rant 

While I may be a healthy chick and am 99% of the time a happy chick, I am also…dun dun dun…a single chick. Now many of my in-a-relationship friends root me on, and tell me that “being single is fun.” “You are so young.” “The right guy will come along some day.” Well, 23 years have gone by and he still hasn’t. OK OK, I understand that yes, I am young and yes, I probably will meet “that guy” some day and everything will all work out. But it doesn’t make that in-between, waiting around, what’s going to happen phase any easier. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that as much as I’m trying to stay positive about being a single chick, sometimes it gets to me, and this week it’s gotten to me a lot more than usual. I try to be all strong. “I’m OK by myself.” “I don’t need a guy.” And that’s true. I know I don’t neeeeed one, but it doesn’t mean that every once in a while the thought can’t pop into my mind that’d be nice to have one. 

Many of my relationship friends also like to tell me, “When you stop looking it’ll come.” Honestly, I’ve heard that since 7th grade. I’m not looking, am I? It’s not as though I go crawling around town checking out men like an aisle in Forever 21. Cute. Not Cute. Yep, he’ll be a keeper. No, I don’t do that. Sometime’s at coffee shops I’ll smile at the cute guy across the table, and at bars I look around to see what’s out there and go up to the occasional guy to chat, but that’s just because I’m a social gal and I love meeting new people. I wouldn’t call that looking or hunting them out by any means. 

Anyway, this past year I tried to let my singledom not get to me as much. After all, I moved into a new city (the lovely city of Boston) and realized it was a time to focus solely on me. And that I did. I got myself a job (or three), started cooking anything and everything (creating many of my own unique recipes) finally learned to manage my budget, made some amazing friends, learned the importance of strength training for women and began lifting weights, explored the city’s adorable coffee shops, bookstores and hidden gems, went to New Zealand with my family, went brunette, quit my job (or two), learned to embrace my body, began running (and love it) and am finally focused on my writing career. Those were all things for me I’d say. Not for you, not for my family and definitely not for men. 

So I guess the whole “why am I still single” thing is especially getting to me now, because I AM happy, I HAVE focused on “me” and I DON’T think about it all the time. I guess what I’m trying to say is I feel it’s finally time I get a little taste of what a relationship is like. College I understand; No, college I was not ready for one. I barely had my act together, I was not happy with my weight or my body or my appearance and I wasn’t focusing on “me.” However, now it’s all different. 

I guess in a way I am proud of myself. I finally got to that place I’ve been trying to get for years, a place where I am happy with what I am doing, content with my body, at a weight I feel comfortable with and at an overall “happy place.” So for now, I suppose I will concentrate on all that I’ve overcome in the past couple of years, however once in a while it’s hard not to let the single-bug get to me. Then again, if that’s the biggest of my worries, I’ve come a long way and am pretty damn lucky.  

Single gals: Do you ever let being single get to you? What do you do to push out that negative noise and just “be”? 

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6 Responses to “Single Chick in the City: An Honest Confession/Rant”

  1. Heather Graham September 17, 2010 at 10:50 am #

    Great post… I too am a “single” girl. Although, I am also a girl that left a relationship to “find” myself… and I enjoy being single. But I do know what you mean & on some days feel the SAME way!! I wish you the best of luck! He’s out there! 🙂

    • healthychicks September 17, 2010 at 10:52 am #

      Thanks for the response Heather…and the encouragement : )

  2. elizabeth September 17, 2010 at 9:11 pm #

    sooooo this is basically my life! i’ve always been a “single gal” and while i’ve had my flings, that guy has never come around. My senior year of highschool I was sure once I moved away from the kids i grew up with, into a big city, in a huge university, i would definitely fall into relationships. i’m about to graduate and that definitely hasn’t happened. Went a little crazy freshman year, partied too hard, but nothing long term came out of those flings that’s for sure. I matured a bit, and definitely stopped looking for love. In some ways I feel good about this, because I have really gotten to know myself and what I feel i want/need from a relationship. on the otherhand, it would be really nice to have someone to wake up to everymorning, and share every moment of my life with. (ok, not every. i hate clingers).
    While a fair number of my friends are in very serious relatoinships, and i am slightly afraid of the day wedding invites start rolling in, I know a lot of single girls, who are drop-dead gorgeous, smart, kind, and fun to be around. we’re not in bad company, that’s for sure.

    I’m glad you feel comfortable with yourself, and i’m sure someone is out there for us. keep me posted! ❤

    ps. i partially blame boston for this. can't lie, i prefer tall western boys 😉

  3. elizabeth September 17, 2010 at 9:11 pm #

    thanks for letting me join your rant!

  4. Jess September 18, 2010 at 8:13 pm #

    Rachel! I feel ya on this one! It’s been 3 years and three cities for me and still no steady, exclusive relationships. I do the back and forth thing too, one day I’m happy being by myself where I don’t have to worry about fitting someone else into my life. Then other days I’m sad that I don’t have anyone to distract me from it all. I also feel like I am not looking but then again if I don’t ever look and put myself out there how do I expect it to just happen??

    P.S. I love reading everything you do– you are like a modern Carrie Bradshaw 🙂

    • healthychicks September 19, 2010 at 2:23 pm #

      A modern day Carrie Bradshaw? I think that’s one of the nicest compliments I’ve ever received hehe : ) Thanks for all your advice/input/responses girls!

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