Sexiness is a Sate of Mind: Let it Shine Through!

15 Sep


Sexy. The dictionary defines it as three things: 1. provoking or intended to provoke sexual interest, 2. feeling sexual interest; aroused 3. interesting, exciting, or trendy. However, I don’t  feel sexy is really definable when you think about it, as it’s relative to the person at hand. What may be sexy to one isn’t necessarily sexy to another i.e. the guy I was drooling at while at the bar last weekend, my friend found to be “heinous.” Yes, she indeed used the word heinous. You can compare cars, dresses, ties, shoes, restaurants and everyone is going to have their own definition as to what he or she finds sexy. 

On other notes, what makes a woman feel sexy changes from person to person as well. And I was very interested in digging deeper into the minds of different women of all ages to see what sexy means to them. First I’ll start with myself. This may seem strange, but I feel my absolute sexiest when I’m in tight workout clothes heading out for a workout. Yes, a form-fitting tank and some cute cropped yoga pants with a pony makes me feel 1,000000 times sexier than when I’m decked out to the nines in heels and a dress. Why? Because I’m doing something that makes me feel good about myself (exercising) and in turn makes me feel good about my body and my look. Hence after a long, sweaty workout I feel oh so sexy on the inside out (yes, even if I have sweat dripping down my face and my hair is a little knotty). No perfume, minimal make up, lots of sweat and still I feel on top of the world. 

The thing that I realized is: sexiness is a current sate of mind, an attitude of sorts that varies from person to person.

Another reader agreed with me on what sexy is to her, saying that she feels her absolute best after finishing a race. Why? Because she feels amazing about what she just accomplished, in turn making her feel confident and hot. Some women said it had more to do with glamour, and they feel their best with painted nails, super high heels and a hot, trendy dress. This, I’m guessing, is because they feel good about themselves in the mirror and this feel-good state carries outwardly. I can relate to these women in a way. Sometimes when I’m in super high heels and a glamorous outfit, I know I look good, so I feel good on the inside and my confidence shines (it’s a chain of sorts). Therefore, while I may look like the same old Rachel to the outside eye, the inside Rachel is feeling sexy and confident and that’s what people see.

I had some other more unique responses. One woman said she feels her sexiest after a few glasses of wine because after having kids her body isn’t the way it used to be, in turn making her feel sexy much less often. While she said she is working on it, I suggested to her that sexiness is a state of mind and if she can find something that makes her feel good on the inside, I can assure that she’ll in turn feel sexy on the outside. Maybe this could mean throwing on some sensual lingerie that she feels good in, not that her husband will necessarily like. Or it may mean putting on some tunes and dancing around the house half naked, just letting lose. There’s a million things to do that can alter your inner mindset, letting your sexiness explode. The thing is it has to be something you do for you not someone else; that’s when your true sexiness will shine. 

Some have no problem with feeling sexy, and walk through life with confidence and sex appeal every day. That’d be nice to be one of those people, but for the most of us the feeling of sexiness comes and goes. One woman responded with an extremely bold and honest answer. “I feel my sexiest when I’m having sex.” What a blunt answer. Then I thought about it, and can understand how for some women this is a huge boost of confidence. I mean, what other time are you more in tune with your body? If you can feel your sexiest when you’re having…um…sex then more power to you! I think that’s a wonderful thing.

When it’s all said and done, sexiness is healthy and us women shouldn’t be afraid to feel sexy and be sexy. It’s empowering, stimulating and such a confidence booster. So I dare you to go out and be sexy today. Rock the sexiness, and feel it from the inside out! 

When do you feel your sexiest? Do you recall any times you’ve felt not-so-sexy or things you’ve done to boost your sexy confidence? 

2 Responses to “Sexiness is a Sate of Mind: Let it Shine Through!”

  1. Ellen @ September 15, 2010 at 12:48 pm #

    hey! i just came across your blog from the 2010 boston local food festival “featured blogger” link. looking forward to following your posts & chit chat on twitter. 🙂

    – ellen from

    • healthychicks September 15, 2010 at 12:52 pm #

      Thanks Ellen! Love that we’re both from Boston. I look forward to reading your blog/tweets as well : ) In fact, I’m browsing your recipe section at the moment and everything looks delicious!

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